Rest as resistance

Especially during seasons of grief

Two women who were dear to me died in recent months after years of living with cancer. Elizabeth Felicetti and I were part of the same writing group of bivocational ordained women. She and I encouraged each other through researching, writing, and revising our first books, which were published on the same day last year. Her second book, Irreverent Prayers: Talking to God When You’re Seriously Sick, came out this July. One day in mid-August, she wrote to our writing group with her inimitable mixture of snark and sincerity as always. Three days later she was gone.

Soon after that, family and friends of my godmother Karen Jacob gathered in northern Michigan for an exhibit of her artwork and to say goodbye. It was a true celebration of her life, and raised money for a local mutual aid group and for voter education in Michigan. She exhorted us all to “fight like hell for the living,” in the words of Mother Jones, and to “carry on the work.” Karen died on September 15 and we’ll gather tomorrow for a memorial service, this time to mourn as well as to celebrate the amazing woman she was.

Four years of major losses and the accompanying grief have really worn me down. So it was right on time that my friend and colleague Krista Dutt invited me to be part of a cohort focusing on caring for ourselves while caring for others. Krista works for Mennonite Central Committee, a relief, development, and peacebuilding organization. MCC partners with the community I pastor, Moveable Feast, in efforts with our neighbors to welcome families from South America seeking asylum in Chicago. 

We each received a copy of Rest Is Resistance by Tricia Hersey in the cohort. This is exactly the book I need to continue moving out of burnout and overwhelm and into a sustainable way to do the work I feel called to do. Hersey writes,

Resting is for everyone caught up in the web of grind culture. We must never forget that grind culture is a sinister collaboration between capitalism and white supremacy. When viewed from this lens, we are all caught up in these toxic systems. . . . Those who are wealthy, as well as those who are poor, are caught up in the spiritual deficiency that occurs when you are tied to a system like capitalism in any way.

Another gift of being part of this MCC cohort is funding to take a retreat. Krista gave us a set of questions to think through the obstacles we face to truly rest and find restoration for its own sake. Since I’ve been thinking about the nature of time lately, I decided that I could rest most fully with a full 24 hours of not needing to look at a clock. Later this month, my beloved and I plan to do just that, staying at a small house on farmland in Michigan. I hope to gain some insights that I can continue to apply as I mourn, rest, and carry on the work.

Book update

I’m happy to talk to small groups or congregations on topics connecting to my book, What You Sow Is a Bare Seed: A Countercultural Christian Community during Five Decades of Change, as well as my experience in urban congregations and as a journalist covering the US religious landscape. If you’re interested, you can reply to this email. And if you are a professor or are inclined to pass this on to professors who might be interested in adding by seminary students (and possible some college students also): What You Sow Is a Bare Seed offers an in-depth case study for field education and contextual learning, weaving together research into the wider church and society with compelling stories of real people, describing congregational dynamics in an engaging way. If you are interested in an exam copy, please fill out this form. I’m also happy to talk to classes.

Watching and listening

The television shows I find the most engaging are ones with characters in a setting I can scarcely imagine myself in (Russian spies during the cold war, queens in quasi-historical medieval times) to explore an aspect of life I can very much relate to. For example, how The Americans examines the nature of marriage or House of the Dragon depicts sexism and misogyny. Among comedies, I love Girls5eva, about four women who were part of a one-hit-wonder band in 2000, which is also about becoming reconciled to being middle aged and everything that entails. The songs that are part of the show are hilarious and at times deeply moving. I listen to “Bend Not Break” while stretching every morning. So much stretching. “The Medium Time” is not only about show business, but, in my opinion, about accepting our mistakes and roads not taken, and appreciating life even if it’s not what we once dreamed. 

I’ve also been enjoying solo work by Sara Bareilles, especially “King of Anything.”